


Behind My Eyelids is Where You'll Be

by nobodys_pearl



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 09:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10185842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nobodys_pearl/pseuds/nobodys_pearl
Summary: Chat Noir has vanished and Ladybug is beginning to fear the worst. How can a half be made whole again when there is something missing?I lost a friend recently and I've had a lot of feelings that I needed to write down. Forgive me for the angst I promise there's a happy ending.





	

“You said you’d be back in one week.” Ladybug said, looking down on her city from the top of the Arc de Triomphe. She looked at the black road that stretched before her, pale yellow lights dotting its endlessness. Her eyes couldn’t help but search in the darkness, but there was nothing there. He wasn’t there.

“ _One week_ , kitty. Two at the most.” Ladybug stated. She could feel a tightness in her throat. Almost three months had passed since he told her that.

Every muscle in her body was taut – she was too afraid to sit down, to face the city by herself, but she was also too tired to move.

“Damn it!” Ladybug suddenly yelled, her voice carrying into the night, only to get lost in the sound of traffic below her. She pressed her palms hard against her eyes.

“You never break a promise, Chat. Why did you have to break this one?” Ladybug asked, dropping her arms to her sides as she glared at the horizon. “Why did you have to _leave me_?” She accused.

She had lost her best friend – one of the most important people in her world – and she didn’t know _why_. She had tried not to think the worst, but as the days of his absence stretched longer before her she couldn’t help but let the despair creep into the corners of her vision.

“I didn’t even know your name.” Ladybug said, tears blurring her vision. “There was so much left to learn, kitty. I just – I always thought that I would have more time.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes tightly, feeling the hot tears move slowly over her mask and down her cheeks.

“I missed you like hell the first week you were gone, you know.” Ladybug said, letting out a bitter laugh. “I missed your jokes, your smile, your optimism.” Ladybug clenched her fists and looked up at the moon. “I didn’t think I would have to miss you forever.” She let her words fade away into the oppressive darkness that surrounded her. She could feel a gentle breeze on her face – but at the same time, she felt nothing at all.

“I can’t even talk to anyone about it.” She said, gripping her yo-yo in her hand. “My parents, Alya, they don’t know I’m Ladybug. They don’t know what you meant to me. They don’t know that I’m in pain.” She let out another bitter laugh. “I guess I’ve gotten good at managing secret identities.” Then she sighed.

“I’m so alone, Chat. It’s like my life has stopped, and I just don’t know how to move forward. I’m unhappy and confused and guilty and I can’t handle all of these feelings at once.” Ladybug heard her voice crack. “I can’t do this. I can’t be Ladybug – I can’t be _Marinette_ – without you.”

Finally it became too much for her and she sunk to her knees, her hands flat against the rooftop as she doubled over in grief. “What am I supposed to do?” Ladybug yelled, a sob escaping her lips. “Please don’t leave me.” She clenched her hands into fists. “ _Why did you leave me?_ ”

Tears dotted the hard cement of the rooftop as Ladybug gasped for air. Losing someone – she didn’t realize that it would hurt this much. It was a constant absence. It was the sharp pain behind her eyes, the burn in her throat, the tremble in her hands. She was being reshaped, and she knew she would never be the same again. No matter the time, no matter the distance – she would always remember this moment, and the moments of light that came before. The moments he was there.

"You were _important_ , kitty. You were _special_. You were _needed_. _I_ need you. I - I _love you_." Ladybug whispered, closing her eyes. "I'm so sorry it took me this long to figure it out. Our time together - I took it for granted, and now it's too late. _I_ was too late. I'm so _stupid_." Her eyes tightened in pain. "I-I just don't understand."

She took a long, shaky breath and slowly got to her feet, wiping her tears away with the heel of her palm. She had to be strong. Ladybug didn’t just lose a friend – Paris lost a hero. Chat Noir wouldn’t be at her side anymore, but he would always be present on the back of her eyelids.

“I hope wherever you are,” Ladybug said with a shaky smile, “you’re happy.” She felt one last tear trail down her face.

“Damn it all.” She lifted up her yo-yo and looked out at the nearest building. It was time to take the next step, it was time to _move_ , no matter how much it hurt. Because that was what superheroes did. That’s what Ladybug did.

Then she felt the light sound of footsteps behind her. She gasped as she felt someone pull her into an embrace from behind.

“I am so sorry my lady my father got sick and then there were bomb threats in the neighboring city and no matter what they just wouldn’t let me come back and I –” Chat Noir said quickly, frustration in his voice.

Ladybug looked out at the world before her with wide eyes as she felt her partner’s strong arms around her. Then she began to sob – loud, heart-wrenching sobs that filled the night air. Chat only held on tighter, burying his face into the back of her neck.

“I am so sorry. I am so so sorry.” Chat whispered, guilt laced in his voice.

She could feel his breath on her cheek. He was there. He was really there.

“You stupid _,_ dumb, mangy cat.” Ladybug said with a shaky laugh, grabbing one of his hands to hold on to. 

Chat Noir managed to let out a shaky laugh as well. “I know, I’m paws-itively claw-ful.”

Ladybug laughed again, although the tears couldn’t seem to stop. “ _I missed you_.” Three simple words, and yet Chat seemed to understand the multitude of feelings behind them.

“I missed you, too.” He said, and that was all there needed to be said. He was Chat Noir, she was Ladybug, and as long as they were together the world was going to be okay. They were going to be okay. That was simply how it was.

They stood like that for a long time – clinging to each other as the night grew darker around them – but to Ladybug, Paris had never looked so bright.

**Author's Note:**

> It's a very short and simple piece but thank you to anyone who took the time to read it! :D 
> 
> Stay miraculous wonderful people!


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